By – Dr. Nerella Sameera, Assistant Professor, Dept. of CSE, SRM University AP..( Amaravati)
Giving children education and property alone does not mean that our responsibility towards them is over. Only when we mold them into responsible citizens with good moral values will our family, our society and our country prosper.
There is no need to give children everything they ask for. It is enough to give them whatever they need, to the extent they need it. For example, suppose a child asks for a laddu and then says, “I want another kaja.” Tell the child, “I have already given you a laddu. We can buy the kaja tomorrow.” If we keep giving children everything they ask for, whether they know what they are asking for or not, they will neither understand the value of things nor will they learn to control their stubbornness.
When children grow up, become successful and others appreciate them, you should certainly feel proud of them. But just because you are their parent, even if you are a king, it does not mean that your child is great simply because he or she is your child. Do not live under such an illusion and make the child believe that he or she is great.
Do not spoil children with excessive affection and pampering. Love is like salt. Without salt, food has no taste; but if there is too much salt, the food gets spoiled. Love is also like that. There should be love for children but be careful that it does not turn into excessive pampering.
As far as possible, parents should observe their children’s behaviour every day. Even if they make a small mistake, do not ignore it or cover it up. Correct them. Just as a mason checks every brick carefully while constructing a wall and does not leave one saying, “What will happen if I leave just one brick?”, parents should also pay attention to every small mistake. If such mistakes are ignored, a strong and good foundation will not be formed.
However, this does not mean that we should get angry with children or punish them for every small mistake. When they are making a mistake, sometimes simply saying “Hey, don’t do that” is enough. Nothing is good when it is excessive.
Parents and children nowadays hardly have time to talk to each other. Our valuable time is being swallowed up by social media platforms. Spend time with your children. Ask them about their school and find out what they are learning. Tell them moral stories. Tell them stories from the Ramayana and Mahabharata. Take them along with you frequently to temples, villages and family functions.
Teach both girls and boys activities such as yoga, karate, swimming, driving, music, and similar activities. These will help improve their mental development and self-confidence. You should understand that these are as important as education.
Learning should not stop with student life. Our life and society give us some message every day. We should understand those messages intelligently and increase our knowledge, intelligence and ability to distinguish between right and wrong.
At home, stubborn children always tend to win. Such children should occasionally be allowed to lose. This helps them understand defeat and adjustment. Children who are timid or hesitant often keep losing. They should also occasionally be allowed to win so that their self-confidence increases. This will help them succeed in the outside world. If stubborn children are not corrected, they may grow into arrogant and overbearing individuals. Similarly, timid children may not be able to achieve success in anything.
Nowadays, parents are giving mobile phones to children as if they were toys. If possible, keep mobile phones away from children until they complete Intermediate (Class 12). The misuse of mobile phones is becoming a cause of many of the problems happening today. Instead, encourage children to play games that involve physical and mental activity, such as shuttle/badminton, cricket and chess.
“Only when we ourselves have good behaviour will our children grow up to be good people.”
